I don't know why it is and whether it is true or not. But I felt the same. And after several years of individual gestalt therapy and group therapy I have developed some social skills which I have been missing. Before that I tried reading books about developing social skills and they didn't help me almost at all.

There are three ways of learning

1. by doing a job and making mistakes

2. by studying theory

3. by observing how more experienced colleagues do a job that is very similar to yours (design review, code review, pair programming, daily conversations)

You are already using the 1st way.

You definitely can use the 2nd way by reading books (Martin Fowler, Bob Martin, Eric Evans, Kent Beck etc.), watching some video courses, reading code of open source projects, etc.

But in your case it is almost impossible to use the 3rd way. And as for as I know the 3rd way is far more efficient then others. I would propose to quit the job where you can't use the 3rd way.