There might be other reasons the majority of people have gone this route. Maybe (probably) we're genetically programmed to perpetuate the species even at the cost of our personal happiness.
Anyone thinking of taking this advice and starting a family should be aware of a few things.
- A number of studies have been conducted on the impact of marriage/kids on personal happiness. Married people report that their children are the largest source of happiness in their lives, but singles report higher overall happiness. On the other hand, married people tend to live longer and have better health outcomes.
- Long-term, married couples (20+ years) report way higher happiness in old age than elderly singles.
- The largest source of marital stress is finances (you can invest a practically infinite amount in raising a kid and the pressure to invest more so is high). So if you're not financially secure you probably shouldn't take the parent's advice.
- For men: the majority of divorces are female-initiated and the most common reason given is infidelity. So if you aren't comfortable with having just one sex partner for the rest of your life, getting married is a risky proposition.
It's fair to say that marriage and kids are a high risk, high reward, life-altering proposition. Everyone has to draw their own conclusions about the exact risk/reward profile for them. As a man my take is that the later in life you do it, the better off you'll be. Older men tend to be more financially secure and have lower libidos, mitigating the two largest risks of getting married. There's arguably some social responsibility to not have kids if you won't do a good job of raising them -- if you're going to mess up the person you bring into the world, it's probably best for society if you don't conceive in the first place.
My only issue with this is the older in life idea. I agree that marrying later in life has many benefits. The drawbacks for me are health-related. As we age, we have higher health risks. Aside from early death, I seem to recall research indicating offspring "health" decreases as either parent ages.
Still, finding love later in life is quite a good thing. If it happens, then that's wonderful.
Anyone thinking of taking this advice and starting a family should be aware of a few things.
- A number of studies have been conducted on the impact of marriage/kids on personal happiness. Married people report that their children are the largest source of happiness in their lives, but singles report higher overall happiness. On the other hand, married people tend to live longer and have better health outcomes.
- Long-term, married couples (20+ years) report way higher happiness in old age than elderly singles.
- The largest source of marital stress is finances (you can invest a practically infinite amount in raising a kid and the pressure to invest more so is high). So if you're not financially secure you probably shouldn't take the parent's advice.
- For men: the majority of divorces are female-initiated and the most common reason given is infidelity. So if you aren't comfortable with having just one sex partner for the rest of your life, getting married is a risky proposition.
It's fair to say that marriage and kids are a high risk, high reward, life-altering proposition. Everyone has to draw their own conclusions about the exact risk/reward profile for them. As a man my take is that the later in life you do it, the better off you'll be. Older men tend to be more financially secure and have lower libidos, mitigating the two largest risks of getting married. There's arguably some social responsibility to not have kids if you won't do a good job of raising them -- if you're going to mess up the person you bring into the world, it's probably best for society if you don't conceive in the first place.