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First and foremost, what you are describing is metacognition - thinking about the way you think. Hopefully that will aid you in your search for things!

Secondly, here are some of my favorite influential material:

- Li Ka-Shing, Tips on Life. My takeaway: invest in yourself. https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/asias-richest-ma...

- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture. My takeaway: don't limit yourself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7zzQpvoYcQ

- Guy Kawasaki, Make Meaning. Aimed for startups, but equally applicable in life. My takeaway: Have the proper motivations for doing things. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQs6IpJQWXc

- Admiral William H. McRaven, Make your bed. My takeaway: if you want to change the world, start by changing yourself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70

- David Foster Wallace, This is Water. My takeaway: Take a big picture view, and don't sweat the small stuff. https://fs.blog/2012/04/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/

- “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.”― Rumi

- Man's Search for meaning. My takeaway: We make meaning. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Me...

- "All the livin that you're saving, won't buy your dreams for you" - Townes Van Zandt

- Idiot wind by Bob Dylan My takeaway: Your reaction to things can be just as bad as the actual thing. https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/57330/

- Stoicism and Marcus Aurelius, Seneca. My takeaway: Focus on what matters. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5617966-a-guide-to-the-g... (read this one first for a good foundation) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/97411.Letters_from_a_Sto... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30659.Meditations

- Buddhism. Our takeaway: Meditation is important, the doctrine of emptiness (not nihilism!) is super interesting. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/104949.How_to_See_Yourse... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhammapada https://www.shambhala.com/the-pocket-dalai-lama-14965.html https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25942786-the-mind-illumi... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3346233-buddhism

- Leonardo Da Vinci My take away: There is a beautiful intersection between tech and art. Great things could not exist without a little of both. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34684622-leonardo-da-vin...

- The Alchemist My takeaway: It's not the destination it's the journey. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/865.The_Alchemist

- Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. My takeaway: Seek out quality, whatever the hell that is! https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/629.Zen_and_the_Art_of_M...

- Why we sleep. My takeaway: go the fuck to bed. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34466963-why-we-sleep

- Anti-Cancer Diet. My takeaway: don't eat shit. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1886829.Anticancer_A_New...

- Non-violent communication. My takeaway: You can (and should) communicate your needs respectfully. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/560861.Non_Violent_Commu...

- Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela. My takeaway: There is a difference between institutionalized action and individual action. Forgiveness is the only path forward. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/318431.Long_Walk_to_Free...

- A people's history of the US. My takeaway: Things are getting better. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2767.A_People_s_History_...



I heard about non violent communication only last week. Heard there’s a course and a workshop too on this.

Very eager to master Non Violent Communivation coz more often than not I find myself in loss for the right word.


If you find yourself at a loss for words often, you might find it useful to talk to yourself more often, rehearsing how you would explain something. Showers are good for this. Parks are too, but there you should carry a handful of papers and occasionally pretend to look at them .


Thanks for your pointers.

Apart from the point to which you have replied, there’s one more I would like to add.

I am an Indian, and have a bit of an accent. Am trying to rub it off. I work for US clients and have observed that I can’t crack jokes as easily as they do, nor do I sound as natural in a friendly banter as well as they do. Also, in the excitement of the conversation, sometimes my American client mumble off something which I am unable to grasp, and which my Indian colleague is able to understand with surprising ease. (The fact that my Indian colleague is vernacular medium educated freaks me off even more)

Also, I am preparing for IELTS the second time (Band 8 in first attempt). I am particularly weak in listening. To remediate that, I listen to a BBC podcast everyday called “The Archers”. I miss out on at least 5 points in the podcast, unable to decipher what they meant. That’s one area I am trying to improve at.

The other one is speaking itself. To put in simple words, I am trying to make my speech as fluid as water. The person I am conversing with should be able to understand me effortlessly. Right now my speech is quite rigid and not that articulate. I scored band 8 in speaking in IELTS. To take things forward, I learnt about this shadowing technique from YouTube’s Emma’s channel and from someone on HackerNews. The bottom line of the shadow technique is, pick up a favorite show - and speak along with whatever the character says, do this for all episodes, and finish the series. One person on HN said that in order to perfect his Mandarin, he shadowed on Chinese TV series for 9 years straight.

In addition to this, I also record myself and speak on some random topic daily for 2 min(Topic is mostly from IELTS speaking tests). Go through the recording. Spot pronunciation / intonation/ articulation mistakes. Take one more go at the same topic. And see if there’s improvement.

Do you have any other ideas apart from these in your mind which can help me with improving my speech?

I am also planning to gobble up all books related to languages written by Steven Pinker.


I teach it. Treat it as learning a new language where you’re also learning new attitudes.

If interested let me know and I’ll give you a free 20 min intro via zoom.


I am absolutely interested.

How do I reach you?


Email me at D-nunlzx2ae16l6yjt6@maildrop.cc


Sent you an email




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