In regards to the black and white thinking that seems common on the internet I think it’s very important to understand and have compassion for the volume of people who have experienced some form of emotional abuse in their life.
How you treat other people is scoped by how you are capable of treating yourself. Developmentally we learn how to treat ourselves from how our parents or caregivers treat us. It’s always useful to remember that people who are judgmental also direct that same lack of acceptance inward in some way.
Abuse and developmental trauma are not only the extreme physical or sexual abuse that people might think of. Neglect, inappropriate boundaries and validation being contingent on meeting arbitrary standards has a strong negative impact as well.
Often it is important for people to create an “other” and tear them down in order to somehow increase their own self worth in the moment. This is not a real solution to self-esteem so people who do so may have to increase the volume of their behavior over time to try and maintain some baseline sense of “being ok.”
People are responsible for their behavior regardless of their life experiences and I’m not saying we should excuse bad behavior.
I think it’s very important to remember that the problem is not “dumb people” attacking things because they are “dumb”. Believing this is extremely disempowering and will generate conflicts and alienation between people over time.
The idea of “dumb people” is the biggest cultural red herring ever and extremely toxic because when someone is labeled dumb:
- There is no point talking to them or listening to them
- They are never going to change, they are just a “dumb person”
- There is no point trying to understand them better
- Calling someone dumb and treating them like a “dumb person” is abusive.
That being said people who are stressed out, people who have experienced abuse and are having a flashback (complex ptsd is interesting) have an inhibited pre-frontal cortex. This means reduced “executive function” and basically that it is harder to think. So they might be acting in “dumb” ways. The key is that this inhibition on thinking will go away once their stress levels are better.
How you treat other people is scoped by how you are capable of treating yourself. Developmentally we learn how to treat ourselves from how our parents or caregivers treat us. It’s always useful to remember that people who are judgmental also direct that same lack of acceptance inward in some way.
Abuse and developmental trauma are not only the extreme physical or sexual abuse that people might think of. Neglect, inappropriate boundaries and validation being contingent on meeting arbitrary standards has a strong negative impact as well.
Often it is important for people to create an “other” and tear them down in order to somehow increase their own self worth in the moment. This is not a real solution to self-esteem so people who do so may have to increase the volume of their behavior over time to try and maintain some baseline sense of “being ok.”
People are responsible for their behavior regardless of their life experiences and I’m not saying we should excuse bad behavior.
I think it’s very important to remember that the problem is not “dumb people” attacking things because they are “dumb”. Believing this is extremely disempowering and will generate conflicts and alienation between people over time.
The idea of “dumb people” is the biggest cultural red herring ever and extremely toxic because when someone is labeled dumb: - There is no point talking to them or listening to them - They are never going to change, they are just a “dumb person” - There is no point trying to understand them better - Calling someone dumb and treating them like a “dumb person” is abusive.
That being said people who are stressed out, people who have experienced abuse and are having a flashback (complex ptsd is interesting) have an inhibited pre-frontal cortex. This means reduced “executive function” and basically that it is harder to think. So they might be acting in “dumb” ways. The key is that this inhibition on thinking will go away once their stress levels are better.