Thanks for writing this out, I follow what you're saying and I agree on all three points. That quitting your job to care for your mom's end of life would have been disastrous to your health and well being after she passed, that you will care for your spouse, and that you would want your children to not bear the burden of caring for you at your end of life the same way you saw what that burden would have entailed with your mom. These are all very reasonable positions and I commend you for saying them aloud. I think most people feel the same way but have a hard time articulating it without sounding callous.