I think this piece is really about identity, and what happens when you establish and associate so deeply with an identity that when something challenges it (e.g. the passing of a job opportunity) it turns your world upside down. The author claims to have found peace in motherhood and that the job she was seeking wasn’t even that great, and perhaps the interviewers single minded, and maybe the entire process a little absurd.
What I find interesting about this is that looking through the lens of ones ego, this seems like the logical way you would cope with losing a job - just convincing yourself it wasn’t ever really what you wanted
It's definitely about identifying where they can slot into society, and what it even means to exist within one. It is also about discerning what pieces of society exist in a more grounded reality and which are part of the grander meta-society that we play the hierarchy games within. A professorship to her meant she had won one of the games. An achievement within the university meta-game, which was important to her but probably more relevant, others thought it was important too.
Making bread will be important for as long as we need food, but a university degree is only important while the society that regards them highly still exists in a particular configuration. She convinced herself at first that getting a professorship was important to her because it was important to the society she was taking part in, and when that society started to fall apart, suddenly the meta-game didn't seem so important.
I come from a really young country and so it's sometimes hard to take our little society seriously, it's more obvious that it is all made up and the pandemic has also made it feel pretty vulnerable and precarious. What good is a university degree when there are no jobs left to find it important?
I can be envious of countries with a long heritage that can make the rules of society feel far more permanent and grounded, like they were borne from history itself. But it's just a perception mostly. How I feel about it doesn't change what it is just whether I am willing to invest in playing.
I sometimes hear teacher friends blurt that they’re not sure their job has any meaning. And I kind of understand in that it is supposed to be a glorified role, and at the same time it may have no direct real world impact and just be imposed boredom on unwilling pupils.
But teaching at a uni for instance is a big deal career wise, identity wise. You end up doing something that you love ans bring some riches, but may not matter at all to those you teach, is highly seen from the rest of the world and becomes your whole value proposition to outsiders.
Compared to that, motherhood has exactly the opposite proposition (lowish social regard, super high impact on someone’s life) while not being so different fundamentally.
I'm tremendously grateful to all of my university teachers. Some more than others, but in general I consider my university education to be a transformative experience in my life.
I also do, but recognize that more than half of the stuff I did to get graduation credits where very boring.
Of course, we don’t know in advance what will resonate and what will fall into a mental pit, so it’s all after the fact evaluation and I don’t see my “boring” courses as universally boring to everyone.
But I definitely was phoning in these courses, and I hope my teachers had double good feedback from the other students, otherwise it could be a depressing situation.
There is a teacher I kept contact with way after entering working life, and it sure felt like there was a small core of us really really thankful, and a gigantic mass of students just sliding by to get a number on their yearly report.
What I find interesting about this is that looking through the lens of ones ego, this seems like the logical way you would cope with losing a job - just convincing yourself it wasn’t ever really what you wanted