So I tried Carvana. I found a car, their site said I would have to e-sign documents, so I called and said I will e-sign if it's not a 3rd-party that stores signatures, such as DocuSign. They said it's done on their site.

I find a car, get the loan, Carvana "verifies" the funds (I use quotes because I gave them the phone number of my loan officer, which could easily have been just my neighbor), the loan is setup, and the delivery date is set.

When I try to e-sign, guess who shows up? DocuFuckingSign. Nope, not doing that. I call again. The agent assures me that it's no problem, they will print the documents and I can sign when the car is delivered.

5 minutes after the car is supposed to be delivered (the driver has already called to confirm the time), someone calls to say I have to e-sign first. I go through the whole thing with her, only she is adamant that I have to e-sign with DocuFuckingSign. I explain what 3 different reps told me and she says "Sorry about that, but you have to". So a $30K deal gets canceled and I have to go car shopping again.

I find a similar car at another dealer, arrange the purchase, and go to Carvana to get my personal info removed. They have my name, address, email address, birthday, driver's license front and back images, and probably my shoe size. The online chat rep says I have to call to do that. The phone rep says she has to check with someone on how to do that, then comes back and gives me a spiel about how careful Carvana is with information and how seriously they take privacy, blah, blah, blah. I'm just waiting for it: "Unfortunately, we have no way to delete your information."

I am so pissed. This is completely unacceptable, especially considering the sensitive nature of the information they collect and the fact I didn't even do a transaction with them.