Last time I hosted was ~2004. I had a very tight qmail implementation, but even then I seem to be getting black-holed or marked as spam. Maybe it was because I was self hosting on my local home ISP and using dyndns to get around potential changes to my ip address from my ISP. Maybe spam filters didn't like inconsistent IP addresses? I don't know. But asking people to whitelist me was a hassle.

At the time I was a heavy Mac user though so I ended up switching to mac.com email, and then Gmail when Apple EOL'ed Mac.com.

Today though there's probably an easy turnkey VM or docker image well-configured to work without too many false positive spam flags... I hope?