One of the more entertaining things in my life, is watching others "figure me out."
I'm pretty "out of band" (read: "weird").
I am generally fairly friendly, and open.
Lots of folks perceive that as weakness.
It's actually kind of entertaining, when they find out they got it wrong. Boy, do they get pissed.
Not everyone loves me. I cry myself to sleep over that, every night.
And, to stay on topic, I have no interest in categorizing others. It generally doesn't work well. The whole "You can tell a man by his handshake" thing is hilarious.
It seems like a strong signal to me. It's not meant to be applied as general categorization. It's meant as a symbol which can be used to find your people. That is, those who had the same background where they were taught something about a strong handshake. People who don't have a strong handshake, may not come from the same background.
OK. I’ll walk that back, a bit. It’s the idea that some people get, that they can determine the sum total of another person, from a momentary interaction.
Let’s just say that some of the best people I’ve ever known, have “dead fish” handshakes.
Mine is “middlin’,” not too strong, not too weak. Tells you exactly nothing about me, and that’s how I like it.
Most people are a continuum. I know right bastards that are very loyal and standup, and very nice people that are totally unreliable, and I never count on them.
Most relationships are “give and take.” We find that we can work intimately with people that we wouldn’t want to invite over for dinner.
So, a handshake to someone who believes that sort of thing is like being a republican or a democrat. They use it as one minor signal of values. It's a tribal thing. They aren't using it as a test of strength, but of background. You can be at a high level of competence with a weak handshake, but the handshake will show the person who values strong handshakes that you aren't from that same culture / background. It's the same sort of signal as wearing a MAGA hat.
interestingly, it seems handshakes aren't just about the strength of grip. People smell their hands after handshakes for chemosignaling: https://elifesciences.org/articles/05154
"We found that humans often sniff their own hands, and selectively increase this behavior after handshake"
I'm pretty "out of band" (read: "weird").
I am generally fairly friendly, and open.
Lots of folks perceive that as weakness.
It's actually kind of entertaining, when they find out they got it wrong. Boy, do they get pissed.
Not everyone loves me. I cry myself to sleep over that, every night.
And, to stay on topic, I have no interest in categorizing others. It generally doesn't work well. The whole "You can tell a man by his handshake" thing is hilarious.