Yep. Permanent remote work is not good for me. I miss going to lunch with coworkers, finding a new restaurant, going out to coffee in the afternoons, etc. This just isn't possible with "fully remote" and people are a half hour (minimum) to 8+ hours away.

I'm thinking about getting a spot at a coworking space just to get out of the house more during the day.

I feel the same, but won't ever accept non-remote, as I'd end up losing 2 hours a day, the money for lunch, and the transport money.

Companies that are non-remote are also more likely to have a toxic work culture.

And that also needs your colleagues to be in, which if they have a choice... they won't.

"If they have a choice". You talk about the situation like you're a slave to your master. It's 2022 -- labour laws exist.

I’ve been getting out a lot, it definitely helps some. After going to a few coworking spaces, I noticed they all have their own cultures. All of the ones around me are pretty quiet, I was caught off guard by that. Of course, everyone’s there to work. Feels like I’d need my friends to be there for it to really work out

I meet a friend who also works from home for lunch or a coffee break during the day.

Otherwise I walk my dog or run errands in the middle of the day, just to go outside and get some exercise and see other people.

I’ve thought about the dog thing a lot. I hear they make you talk to strangers. We just got a cat, sort of a backup plan since we travel too much for a dog right now.

Shocker—-more of a neutral social pet

Ahh, made a big long comment suggesting a cat; ha - for me, the transition from completely empty, huge studio; to having a little fuzzy companion, made all the difference in the world.

As someone who has recently become a dog owner: It's like walking around with a t-shirt that says "talk to me!". It's pretty wild. I get into all sorts of conversations now, with dog owners and not dog owners alike.

Yes, many people use dogs to ease their loneliness.

No, I prefer work for work and play for play. I don't want to get lunch with coworkers or feign conversation more than I have to

That’s fair, this is the stereotype I expect in this industry.

Not much has changed for me. When I was in the office, my team was full of heads down individuals. We'd bring our own lunch and eat at our desks because that was the only way to get a full day's work done at the office while also having enough time for family and hobbies.

I've since switched employers and I'm in a more enthusiastic team, where my colleagues are more inclined to mingle, but everyone stays longer to make up for the lost time. Once you include the commute, I find myself giving up a lot for small social sessions.

The problem is that when you're operating in a competitive environment, it's easy to justify forgoing everything to produce impact, even if it means being lonely.

Please don’t take this as a joke, I honestly mean this as an incredibly serious suggestion -

I felt the exact same way, I’ve got a partner and friends as well but unfortunately my hobbies (I produce my own conscious hip-hop and short films) mostly also consist of my spending a lot of time in my fairly large combo film/music studio / office / living space.

During COVID itself, I actually lived with a roommate - after COVID, and with some money saved up and some excellent goals in mind, I got the studio/house so I could be all to myself.

It’s awesome to live alone - less awesome to live, work, and play alone from the same space.

So, it might sound silly - but about a month or so ago, I adopted a very sweet middle-aged cat from a local adoption agency here in Toronto.

I will honestly say, her presence (her name is Lofi) has actually honestly even helped with like depression and general mental health things!

But, most importantly - I’m pretty much never feeling alone with her around. :)

When I step in the door, there’s usually a cute fuzzball greeting me; who’s likely missed me, and happy to see me; as opposed of course to an almost dauntingly large empty space.

I would really recommend adopting a middle aged cat who has had a family, though! Don’t get a kitten, you don’t need or want the equivalent of a toddler in your work space.

Might seem like it’s either obvious or just silly - but I actually have to say that Lofi has made a huge difference the last month for my well-being in general.

tl;dr - try adopting a middle aged cat. I find they are a great working companion.

I do, and I really value the time I spend at a cafe near my house. I go to the same cafe (and typically sit in the same spot) every workday for between 1 and 4 hours.

It lets me have a bunch of loose acquaintances, both staff and other regulars. I also like seeing people on lunch dates and kids with the day off school and what books people are reading. A bonus is that everyone there is working on different stuff --- artists and video editors and music promoters are all there at various points, doing various things.

I used to have a membership at a coworking space, but I like this better, and in the end it costs about the same.

Not at all. I will cowork with a round robin of family and friends depending where I am, and if none are around, a coworking space or local coffee shop. You must be intentional about your social circumstances.

I am an introvert who has a hard time making friends and connecting to other people. After 1.5 years of fully remote work and another 0.5 years of working on my own projects from home, I'm looking for an office job.

Nothing else has been able to meet my basic social needs, and it's honestly making me depressed. Yes, I've tried working in cafes, libraries, outdoors, trying out meetups, etc. They all sucked.

Yup. Humans crave human contact. Even introverts do.

In fact as an introvert remote work affects me more negatively because I’m less likely than other people to get social interaction outside of work.

I always wondered if this was just an introvert’s utopia (I’m not one myself), I can’t tell if the introverts on my team enjoy this or what. I honestly just never hear from them, I might be assuming they prefer it

Not at all, I have been working remotely for a while now, but I always kept clear separation between my home and my work (for the most part).

So, I always go to coffee shops, libraries, coworking, bars, to get some work done.

I work a few hours home at most, not enough for me to feel lonely

Been thinking about this myself

And, so, thinking about what are the actual reasons I don't want to return to the office

I think it might just be the drive -- which, by definition almost, would be a long-ish slog.

A thirty minute drive for 30 minutes or less each way might not be the end of the world.

But that starts changing rapidly as that number goes up, is 5 days instead of 4, etc.

A ten or fifteen minute bike ride, tho?

Sign me up!

It's certainly normal. After the pandemic I chose a job with an office just to have a more interesting split of office and home days. But soon I might leave the city again. It's kind of a tradeoff, but certainly normal to be a little bit lonely.

Yup. We had a team gathering on Gather a few days ago. Basically a bunch of us hung around and chatted, then logged off. There was some social encountering during those minutes, then it was over. Nobody idling like back in the 2003 IRC era.

For sure, it’s a very unnatural setting. I listen to podcasts but I feel very lonely.

My partner works from home, and so does our very cuddly cat. It's not for everybody, but it's enough for me. We've got a kid, so it's hard to not be social outside of working hours.

Yes, I stopped remote working as soon as possible. It's basically Progress Quest.

If I wanted to sit in front of a screen all day I'd buy a $100k house in the middle of nowhere and play World of Warcraft.

Gamblers anonymous now accepts people addicted to gaming.

Maybe change to a company that provide an office/hybrid?

“Hybrid” is the worst of both worlds.

In cases where attendance is optional you’ll likely be coming to an empty office most of the time.

In cases where attendance is required on specific days you’ll find it chaos as people rush to cram all their “office” tasks (meetings, etc) of the week into that one day so there’s little potential for enjoyable interactions when everyone is running around.

I think the dilemma of remote work is that some of us moved to a place with worse available jobs. I’d take a pay hit, a prestige hit, and honestly even then I might end up at a lazily hybrid company with a ghost town office

If I feel a bit lonely, I head to coffeeshops or work from homes of my other friends who work from home. Also my wife works from home. I really like it.

I have, on occasion, had an existential crisis after contemplating that I spend all day talking to an electric box instead of a human being.

Not in the least. It's a nice break from the wife and kid.

Yeah, I feel like anyone with kids aren’t having issues at all with this

No.