Your life is not over, you still have opportunity ahead. I am 37 going on 38 and I am just now starting to recover from a three year life struggle / burnout experience. I've had three really traumatic work experiences and I worked at a pizza kitchen and a kayak store for a while because I felt worthless and that I was no longer able to contribute to society and my friends in the way I used to.
That last part was not true. Even if you cannot immediately see its effect you have value. It felt true but it's hard to get back on your feet and most people will kick you while you are down or feign concern with self gratifying pity.
My advice to you is to sail into prevailing winds and lean into things that "fuck you back" as one of my favorite youtubers simone giertz said recently.
Be open to directions and opportunities you may not have been willing to persue. After months / years of under/unemployment I took a job that wasn't exactly what I'd been holding out for but it's getting the bills paid and providing a stability to my life that's been gone for a long time.
I missed out on some of the prime earning years of my life. Because society rejected me, not because I pissed on some electric fence. I've been honest and myself and I haven't had the support I wish I did. Life isn't fair like that.
The best you can do is just try to move forward, do things that give you some value in yourself and seek out life experiences that will enrich yourself and others. Find some other people who are interested in your preferences and relationships personal and beyond are possible. Its cliche but sometimes it comes to you when you stop looking for it.
so to sum up:
I've had a similar life crisis, its been going on for about three years and I think I'm starting to trend up? I don't make nearly as much as I used to but at least I CAN pay the bills and I'm trying to work on a couple side projects that I hope will both get me some extra income as well as make me feel good for doing fun creative things that others can enjoy.
That last part was not true. Even if you cannot immediately see its effect you have value. It felt true but it's hard to get back on your feet and most people will kick you while you are down or feign concern with self gratifying pity.
My advice to you is to sail into prevailing winds and lean into things that "fuck you back" as one of my favorite youtubers simone giertz said recently.
Be open to directions and opportunities you may not have been willing to persue. After months / years of under/unemployment I took a job that wasn't exactly what I'd been holding out for but it's getting the bills paid and providing a stability to my life that's been gone for a long time.
I missed out on some of the prime earning years of my life. Because society rejected me, not because I pissed on some electric fence. I've been honest and myself and I haven't had the support I wish I did. Life isn't fair like that.
The best you can do is just try to move forward, do things that give you some value in yourself and seek out life experiences that will enrich yourself and others. Find some other people who are interested in your preferences and relationships personal and beyond are possible. Its cliche but sometimes it comes to you when you stop looking for it.
so to sum up: I've had a similar life crisis, its been going on for about three years and I think I'm starting to trend up? I don't make nearly as much as I used to but at least I CAN pay the bills and I'm trying to work on a couple side projects that I hope will both get me some extra income as well as make me feel good for doing fun creative things that others can enjoy.