I got divorced (not my choice) around age 55, after 30 years of marriage. Our one child (now an adult) wouldn't even talk to me afterwards... I don't even know why. I do have a good job, and thank God for that... for a number of years (and in many ways, still), it was what kept me going. Severe suicidal depression hit me during and after divorce.
I don't like the word "recover", because it presumes things, but you can climb out of that hole. For me, it took lots and lots of honesty and work -- and I got help. Even so, it took years of it before I stopped feeling crushed by my divorce/estrangement on a daily basis.
You can eventually see yourself as a better, different person than you were before. I won't lie, there are days when the agony of it comes to mind, but... you learn to cope.
In your case, what you have to grieve is the life unlived. I can get that, but you can still create a life -- even a good one -- at your age. Mid-40s is not too old to have a wife and kids, if you know what you want and act on it.
I would start with some therapy. They can't do the work for you -- and there will be a LOT of work -- but they can offer a different perspective and help get you out of the echo chamber of your own mind.
I don't like the word "recover", because it presumes things, but you can climb out of that hole. For me, it took lots and lots of honesty and work -- and I got help. Even so, it took years of it before I stopped feeling crushed by my divorce/estrangement on a daily basis.
You can eventually see yourself as a better, different person than you were before. I won't lie, there are days when the agony of it comes to mind, but... you learn to cope.
In your case, what you have to grieve is the life unlived. I can get that, but you can still create a life -- even a good one -- at your age. Mid-40s is not too old to have a wife and kids, if you know what you want and act on it.
I would start with some therapy. They can't do the work for you -- and there will be a LOT of work -- but they can offer a different perspective and help get you out of the echo chamber of your own mind.