I started my career in a software agency, maybe I was unlucky, but in this particular agency I overheard the more senior employees staying after-hours and making fun of the the junior employees (in their absence) and the quality of the code they had wrote. There was no actual code review process but this memory had made me very defensive in regards to my code. I was always trying to push the perfect code in one shot, which led me to overthink solution, and if for whatever reason I had to push a rushed change I felt guilty and tried to find excuses preemptively.
At one time I had to onboard the client's new dev team to a project that I had built alone for about one year. The product had become successful so the client wanted to invest in rebuilding it on better foundations to prepare for accelerating its growth.
Working alone on the code for a year had subdued my fears of public shaming but, once I started going through it with a team of seniors looking over my shoulder, my anxiety went through the roof. For every new file I was opening I started my explanation with an apology about the quality of the code and tried to explain why I didn't have the time during implementation to write that code properly.
After the 2nd or 3rd explanation one of the new guys stopped me and said something like: "You don't have to explain yourself to us. This code is the result of the context it has been written in. We are only having this conversation because the product that you helped build by writing that code is successful. Because of this success we now have the chance to spend time and think about how we can improve the code".
I only realized later, but that was one of the most liberating things anyone has ever told me. It felt like a huge weight had just been lifted of my shoulders. People were looking at my code and discussing it not as a reflection of my quality as a person but as the output of different factors and priorities at a given point in time.
I worked with that team long enough to feel deconditioned from the previous toxic behavior.
> "You don't have to explain yourself to us. This code is the result of the context it has been written in. We are only having this conversation because the product that you helped build by writing that code is successful. Because of this success we now have the chance to spend time and think about how we can improve the code"
I started my career in a software agency, maybe I was unlucky, but in this particular agency I overheard the more senior employees staying after-hours and making fun of the the junior employees (in their absence) and the quality of the code they had wrote. There was no actual code review process but this memory had made me very defensive in regards to my code. I was always trying to push the perfect code in one shot, which led me to overthink solution, and if for whatever reason I had to push a rushed change I felt guilty and tried to find excuses preemptively.
At one time I had to onboard the client's new dev team to a project that I had built alone for about one year. The product had become successful so the client wanted to invest in rebuilding it on better foundations to prepare for accelerating its growth.
Working alone on the code for a year had subdued my fears of public shaming but, once I started going through it with a team of seniors looking over my shoulder, my anxiety went through the roof. For every new file I was opening I started my explanation with an apology about the quality of the code and tried to explain why I didn't have the time during implementation to write that code properly.
After the 2nd or 3rd explanation one of the new guys stopped me and said something like: "You don't have to explain yourself to us. This code is the result of the context it has been written in. We are only having this conversation because the product that you helped build by writing that code is successful. Because of this success we now have the chance to spend time and think about how we can improve the code".
I only realized later, but that was one of the most liberating things anyone has ever told me. It felt like a huge weight had just been lifted of my shoulders. People were looking at my code and discussing it not as a reflection of my quality as a person but as the output of different factors and priorities at a given point in time.
I worked with that team long enough to feel deconditioned from the previous toxic behavior.