All of the divorces I know firsthand from my peers do not involve violence or sexual abuse, but more nebulous or obtuse statements about personal happiness and expectations from life.
I do think a culture of instant gratification and the myriad of stimulus that hits in rapid fire from all sides sets up even the most stalwartly to succumb to feelings or urges to do something opposite of their rationale, because they don't spend a lot of time ruminating and re-examining the source and cause of these feelings and harmonizing them with their goals and values, a sort of re-programming.
I am divorced, but do not want to go into the personal details. I did meet my ex when we were both in our twenties and did not have high body counts. Our divorce would be hard to define with cause(s). I know a large part of it was that my ex-wife struggled with giving up her career (that made her unhappy when she did not have kids) to be a stay-at-home mom when she pushed for having kids, but rejected my offer to stay at home if she wanted to work, and then happy she stayed home and vice versa all over again. Film and media echo this dislocation and dichotomy all the time. Films that show people working through things against all odds (yes a filmic reference but not to the point ;)) or the reality of dealing with everyday life with all of its tensions and releases, and unforeseen events and emergencies, is not common in non-action movies. Call it naive nostalgia, but I don't see that many happy divorced people who have not found someone. And the older we get the harder it is to find someone that can be more than a platonic friend.
I have now been remarried for many years with younger children, and we are all friends - my ex-wife and my current wife and my older children love their young siblings. I am very grateful to have kept those I love and care about around me. I will say that my current wife is traditional and not American and our differences and desires are not so dramatic and easy to harmonize with our life and family.
I do think a culture of instant gratification and the myriad of stimulus that hits in rapid fire from all sides sets up even the most stalwartly to succumb to feelings or urges to do something opposite of their rationale, because they don't spend a lot of time ruminating and re-examining the source and cause of these feelings and harmonizing them with their goals and values, a sort of re-programming.
I am divorced, but do not want to go into the personal details. I did meet my ex when we were both in our twenties and did not have high body counts. Our divorce would be hard to define with cause(s). I know a large part of it was that my ex-wife struggled with giving up her career (that made her unhappy when she did not have kids) to be a stay-at-home mom when she pushed for having kids, but rejected my offer to stay at home if she wanted to work, and then happy she stayed home and vice versa all over again. Film and media echo this dislocation and dichotomy all the time. Films that show people working through things against all odds (yes a filmic reference but not to the point ;)) or the reality of dealing with everyday life with all of its tensions and releases, and unforeseen events and emergencies, is not common in non-action movies. Call it naive nostalgia, but I don't see that many happy divorced people who have not found someone. And the older we get the harder it is to find someone that can be more than a platonic friend.
I have now been remarried for many years with younger children, and we are all friends - my ex-wife and my current wife and my older children love their young siblings. I am very grateful to have kept those I love and care about around me. I will say that my current wife is traditional and not American and our differences and desires are not so dramatic and easy to harmonize with our life and family.