Only in the abstract, I guess. If you drop 5 dollars and I pick it up and tell you that you dropped it, I also made a decision for you, no? That you'd want to be informed of such things?
I believe that consent is good, and I believe that voluntarily crossing a person's boundaries is bad, but I also believe that participating in a society means we cannot entirely control all aspects of how we're engaged with and perceived. An employee talking to a vested party about an experience they had is a perfectly normal, healthy and expected behavior. The example we're talking about is even a positive! So some amount of "making a decision for someone else" (even though I reject that concept as existing here) is normal, healthy and expected.
I can see how it comes off that way, fair enough. But I'll clarify:
Abuse can be subjective and you shouldn't be abused based on your personal lines of abuse, which I of course cannot decide. If you are not comfortable in your work environment and have the capacity to leave, I hope it isn't a controversial take to suggest leaving. full time work is a good chunk of your life after all, and abuse will bleed into the other parts of your life even after you leave for the day.
If you have intrinsic reasons to stay despite having that capacity to leave, then I suppose you value those reasons above your personal mental health. Which is unfortuante, but your call.
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This goes a bit beyond the topic of compliments. But such a topic seem to bring so many experiences of office politics out in this iteration of discussion, so I felt it be worth mentioning. As I edited in my above post, this post feels a lot more "personal" than the discussion 3 years ago.
You’re still not getting it. You’re projecting a personal fantasy on your peers in a way that hurts them in service of an idea that proves you aren’t a trustworthy peer. Taking a personal stand is admirable. Taking a stand at someone else’s expense isn’t.
You're reading a lot into a comment that simply says "find a job you're comfortable with". It's not a fantasy when I'm reading comments in this very thread thst say they are afraid of getting fired over standing out too much. Well, the comments themselves can be fantasy, but thars not a healthy way to approach a forum like this.
There is no stand, merely a suggestion. Feel free staying miserable but many people in a community like this aren't minimum wage workers struggling to pay rent. It's your choice to stay miserable by that point. I'm glad I'm in environments where people can use their words about their boundaries without fear and I don't have to assume people are the way you are currently projecting them to be.
You’re still missing the point. Not everyone has the option to change jobs. Your unsolicited feedback has the potential to cause harm. So why not just ask first? It’s so easy to do.
“Just get a better job lol” is a ridiculously privileged response to “your good intentions may have unintended consequences.”
No, you're not, you're making a decision to talk about your work experience with the other manager. Coworkers can talk to each other about work, what people work on is not secret information
