There is no meaning. But humans need meaning. Create your own! Absolutely anything will do as long as you find it meaningful. Just pick a goal/meaning and go for it. It’s okay to change what you find meaningful as you go through life.
I was in a similar introspective state of my life when someone recommended "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. To anyone reading the comment wanting more, I'd recommend the book. The audiobook is only 4h 45m.
I've faced a beginning of life pretty loaded in trauma, and a young adult life where self-inflicting some more was a comforting behaviour in the face of the absurdity of life. When contemplating suicide up close, in some of the aftermath I saw Camus' thesis as a pretty decent way to figure out some sort of "philosophy of continuing to exist".
This is why I freaking love the movie Blade Runner 2049. It resonated with me tremendously besides being a great movie. Give it a shot if you have not!
There is no meaning. But humans need meaning. Create your own! Absolutely anything will do as long as you find it meaningful. Just pick a goal/meaning and go for it. It’s okay to change what you find meaningful as you go through life.