You don’t get to say you’re sorry until it’s over. I got to watch myself in third person fuck up most of my relationships while I spent the whole time screaming in my head to stop.
Of course, I thought this was a normal reaction stress. I only got diagnosed a few years ago. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal till I offhandedly mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough.
For me, medication is only part of the solution. I spend a lot of time and energy, keeping track of my mood and preventing myself from spiraling into an episode. Even the medication doesn’t always work and I have to take more of it. Can’t be manic if you’re sleeping. :)
Wow, thank you for sharing your experience and feelings, that was a very interesting read. I sympathize for the paranoia – did you somehow had nice feelings from this experience, regardless of how insanely stressful it was?
> Paranoia and other psychoses felt normal to me before I learned I was bipolar.
Same with me. What helped me was years of Theravadan Buddhist Mediation. I do not recommend it, but it helped me create a mind that was separate from my delusional mind. I would easly have wild trips when I was meditating, whcih I think was from the excess serotonin released or my over sensitivity to the seritonin via the HTR5A g protein coupled receptor.
> my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough.
I’ve written up my two psychotic breaks on my blog: https://kayode.co/blog/4106/living-with-psychosis/
You don’t get to say you’re sorry until it’s over. I got to watch myself in third person fuck up most of my relationships while I spent the whole time screaming in my head to stop.
Of course, I thought this was a normal reaction stress. I only got diagnosed a few years ago. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal till I offhandedly mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough.
For me, medication is only part of the solution. I spend a lot of time and energy, keeping track of my mood and preventing myself from spiraling into an episode. Even the medication doesn’t always work and I have to take more of it. Can’t be manic if you’re sleeping. :)