A good ADHD coach can be life-changing, as cheesy and corny as it sounds. As you’re likely aware (but for the benefit of everyone else), the ADHD brain is not extrinsically and intrinsically motivated by the exact same things of someone with a more neurotypical brain.
An ADHD brain is more motivated by external Urgency while a more neurotypical will be motivated externally by Importance. This often leads to ADHD people being perceived as anywhere from flakey, unreliable, to totally unconcerned with problems and/or commitments. In social relationships, they are perceived as being anywhere from touch and go to just unwilling to invest into social bonds. The worst part is that if you are able to mask well in one area, you just don’t have the energy to mask everywhere else. It’s like an unwinnable game of wack-a-mole.
It has taken many years and losing so much to get to where I am and it’s still objectively shit. Knowing that every in the world is not made for how your brain functions and is often made specifically for how the majority of people’s brain functions is depressing.
I’ve found that very carefully selecting work that lets me lean into my specific strengths (good under pressure, able to dive deep on technical problems and pull out results, and being a good business
communicator), in conjunction with aggressively automating or pre-preparing parts of my life that suck (laying out clothes/tools/equipment the night before, having a checking “escrow” account all my auto bill pay gets pulled out of) helps me function more efficiently.
It gets better, you can carve newer and deeper neural-pathways by sticking to routines, and finding ways to get that dopamine.
An ADHD brain is more motivated by external Urgency while a more neurotypical will be motivated externally by Importance. This often leads to ADHD people being perceived as anywhere from flakey, unreliable, to totally unconcerned with problems and/or commitments. In social relationships, they are perceived as being anywhere from touch and go to just unwilling to invest into social bonds. The worst part is that if you are able to mask well in one area, you just don’t have the energy to mask everywhere else. It’s like an unwinnable game of wack-a-mole.
It has taken many years and losing so much to get to where I am and it’s still objectively shit. Knowing that every in the world is not made for how your brain functions and is often made specifically for how the majority of people’s brain functions is depressing.
I’ve found that very carefully selecting work that lets me lean into my specific strengths (good under pressure, able to dive deep on technical problems and pull out results, and being a good business communicator), in conjunction with aggressively automating or pre-preparing parts of my life that suck (laying out clothes/tools/equipment the night before, having a checking “escrow” account all my auto bill pay gets pulled out of) helps me function more efficiently.
It gets better, you can carve newer and deeper neural-pathways by sticking to routines, and finding ways to get that dopamine.
Also medication, that really helps.