I don't think this even needs to be gendered. I'm not insinuating any kind of bias in your comment, it just got me thinking that this is more "people" than a gender divide where women need more self reflection and men need lower standards.
People are selfish, self interested, & caught up in their own lives. Many people suck at consistently thinking about someone other than themselves, and are not good at sacrifice or compromise. It's truly a special thing when you find someone willing to put in equal effort.
At least where I live men work more hours than women at almost any point in life if you include everything like household chores etc. Women still say men should do more, so them asking for that doesn't mean they actually do more.
This is very prone to cultural differences so could be different where you live.
These generalizations make no sense person-wise. Everyone has their own set of shoulds, don’ts and do-it-myselves. There’s no single law with all the bullet points.
That said, your usual selection contains [too] many people’s shoulds and don’ts, on both sides.
Root comment in this light basically boils down to I do everything myself and don’t need anyone to break this perfect system. Which is reasonable, imo. If there’s no synergy by design and a person is okay alone, that’s reasonable.
Many have this perception that they are contributing far more than they actually are, and they come up with narratives like this to justify that false perception.
I think men who decide to feel this way instead of having a bit of humility and working on becoming better partners will find themselves stuck in miserable relationships or going down the incel pipeline. Their loss, I suppose...?
This is an outcome of a very narcissistic approach to life which is completely disconnected to the lived reality of another that you are supposed to love. That approach to life will lead to very dissatisfying relationships, though it will also lead to a generally miserable and frustrating life, so I'd recommend working to grow out of it if you can figure out a way.
On a separate note, generalizing about half the human population isn't going to result in the reliable insights you imagine, you'll mostly find your own projections. If you don't like what you see, chances are it's a you problem.
Well, if we're sharing completely unsourced bollocks, this is exactly the opposite of my own experience. A good number of men in my community seem to live like slobs, take poor care of their health, have zero emotional intelligence, throw tantrums at the slightest provocation, and support brain-dead politics for purely selfish reasons, yet expect their partners to be perfect little sex maids who tend to their every need. Their value on the dating market is not nearly as high as they seem to think it is.
His insights come from having eyes and ears, and knowing men and women in relationships. Anecdote for anecdote, your reply applies to you as well. For my own datapoint, I'm a youngish man who wasn't interested in anything long-term until I met my SO.
I've seen the lack of awareness/maturity in both my dates (women), friends (male & female), and in what people say about their exes in my circle. Of course, I'm excluding cheaters, people who refuse their meds, and downright abusers in both cases. Besides people being self-centered, the common issue is learned helplessness, which manifests differently depending on gender.
Ignoring straight harassment, even "positive" attention is a problem. Some women have had at least one person being "extra helpful" their whole lives, and even when inevitably some of the helpful guys are shocked that doing those favors didn't result in a blowie, it reinforces the idea "fuck them, if men are like that at least they should do my taxes." I've had to metaphorically use a spray bottle on friends who were in princess mode and "forgot how to fold their own tent" when camping or had their SO acting as basically a manservant. The male (and much more common IMO) counterpart is the momma's boy. Doesn't do anything about the chores and common spaces and must be reminded like a child by their SO to do the basics. Then they fuck it up on purpose so others must take up the slack.
The focus on contribution I see is weird; in this economy, stay-at-home anything is becoming rare. The expectation I see in my circle is that home duties are 50-50, with both earning. Did you date/marry the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Is this just fixating on internet ragebait?
I don’t know how this gets fixed. Women don’t want to self reflect and men don’t want to lower their standards for commitment.