Use judo techniques. Use their own computing power against them with fake links to fake Markov generated bullshit at random, until their cache get poisoned with no turning point as it's impossible; the LLM's begin to either forget their own stuff or hallucinate once their input it's basically feeded from other LLM's (or themselves).

It'll still keep your site from getting hammered

until some drone working for the parasites (google/facebook/openai) sees this post and writes 5 lines of code to defeat it

and now you have an experience where the bots have it easier time accessing your content than legitimate visitors

How would those 5 lines of code look like? The base of this solution is that it asks to solve a computationally-intensive problem whose solution, once provided, isn't computationally-intensive to check. How would those 5 lines of code change this?

nice try, Google employee

Lol, such a childish excuse to not answer.