I don't know what price you'd pay in your hypothetical scenario, but I would say that European universities often take a larger chunk of equity than US unis where spinouts are concerned [1]. Most US universities take between 0-5% equity, where EU could go to 10%, and UK unis up to 20-30%.
the feeling that they needed to include a few paragraphs of “look this isn’t the single digit amounts your friends are getting… but… it’s dilutive and we know best for you” language is telling
Exactly. A lot of academics fall for it, thinking these are normal amounts. Then later when they try to raise money they often get into trouble as no invester in their right mind wang to touch them. Having a university as a major share holder with voting seats isn't a great idea!
If we're talking about existing EU funding mechanisms, the participating universities take no equity in their startup partners whatsoever, they just get paid part of the funding pot to do a bit of related research and publish it, and might be able to generate a bit of their own IP
[1] https://www.spinout.fyi/data