I don't think anything you said is explicitly wrong, but I think there is a lot more nuance and that's where the conversation is breaking down.
Such as "RTFM". You're right. People do need to learn to train themselves. That's the most important skill. But the major problem is that noobs are at the beginning. They don't know where to look. They don't know what questions to ask.
The struggle is important, but it can also be too much at times. A senior shouldn't do everything for the junior, but neither should they let them struggle too much. The trick is in the balance. Let them struggle, but pull them back if they stray too far.
If you don't reign them in, then most of them just go far off course. Most of them just get lost and never return. That's not a good situation for anyone. Most wizards come from them not getting too lost while going on this confusing journey. It's more that we just ended up in similar places. But a lot of luck was involved with that. We know the journey itself is important, but you can't tell me that there weren't times that you tripped and fell and they didn't do anything to help you get where you are now (other than learning resilience). We can make things better.
So don't tell a noob to RTFM, they don't even know what the manual is! Point them to the manual, point them to the right section. Say "hey, give this a shot. Let us know how it goes. If you're still stuck we'll probably need to know what <xyz> is". Your "xyz" should always be a hint as to what your guess to the solution is. Gets them thinking about a certain thing they might not have. This still puts everything on them, lets them struggle, but helps prevent them from getting lost. That's not "RTFM" that's "HTM" (Here's the manual)
Such as "RTFM". You're right. People do need to learn to train themselves. That's the most important skill. But the major problem is that noobs are at the beginning. They don't know where to look. They don't know what questions to ask.
The struggle is important, but it can also be too much at times. A senior shouldn't do everything for the junior, but neither should they let them struggle too much. The trick is in the balance. Let them struggle, but pull them back if they stray too far.
If you don't reign them in, then most of them just go far off course. Most of them just get lost and never return. That's not a good situation for anyone. Most wizards come from them not getting too lost while going on this confusing journey. It's more that we just ended up in similar places. But a lot of luck was involved with that. We know the journey itself is important, but you can't tell me that there weren't times that you tripped and fell and they didn't do anything to help you get where you are now (other than learning resilience). We can make things better.
So don't tell a noob to RTFM, they don't even know what the manual is! Point them to the manual, point them to the right section. Say "hey, give this a shot. Let us know how it goes. If you're still stuck we'll probably need to know what <xyz> is". Your "xyz" should always be a hint as to what your guess to the solution is. Gets them thinking about a certain thing they might not have. This still puts everything on them, lets them struggle, but helps prevent them from getting lost. That's not "RTFM" that's "HTM" (Here's the manual)