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There is also a granted patent for throwing a stick for a dog:

https://patents.google.com/patent/US6360693B1/en

The US patent system seems profoundly broken. Given that the patent system seems much less broken in other developed countries and the vast wealth and resources of the US, I assume it is broken on purpose?




I have a patent on a faster-than-light communications system:

https://patents.google.com/patent/US7126691B2/en

Obviously it doesn't actually work. I submitted the application as an experiment to see how hard it would be to sneak this past the patent office. The answer turns out to be: not hard at all. In fact, there's pretty much an algorithm for it:

1. Write up a half-assed patent application.

2. Submit it and wait for it to be rejected (which it almost certainly will be).

3. Read the rejection notice and tweak the application to address every individual point that was made.

4. Go to step 2. Repeat until the patent office capitulates and issues your patent.

In my experience (my name is on six patents) has never been necessary to do more than one iteration.

The reason this works is that the patent office is required by law to give specific reasons for rejecting a patent application. They are not allowed to simply say, "This is obviously stupid." If they see that you are going to persist, it's a lot easier for them to just give you the damn patent (it's no skin off their nose) than to keep doing your homework for you.

With AI, following this procedure becomes borderline trivial. In fact, I'm a little surprised that the patent office isn't being overwhelmed by AI-generated patent applications. (Or maybe they are and it just hasn't made it into my news feed.)


Respect to you for exposing how ridiculous the whole system is. I hope you have a framed copy in your office.

It reminds me slightly of:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sokal_affair

I've done my own minor pranking as well:

https://successfulsoftware.net/2007/08/16/the-software-award...

My understanding is that quantum entanglement can't be used to transmit information. Given this fact and the fact that Einstein started out as a patent clerk, the great man must be turning in his grave!


Thanks, but I think Steven Olson actually deserves more credit than I do:

https://patents.google.com/patent/US6368227B1/en

I thought I would have to disguise the bogosity under some plausible-sounding pseudo-science, and to be fair, it's actually quite tricky to figure out why my invention doesn't work (though the fact that it doesn't work, and can't possibly work, should be pretty obvious to a patent examiner). But at this point I think I could probably get a patent for summoning dragons to slay my enemies. (Hm, there's an idea...)




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