My wife isn't alone in wishing that there was another
  word for "depression" of the sort arises because your 
  team lost, your dog died, you got passed over for a 
  promotion. Those are disappointing and can be a problem 
  in the short term.

FWIW, depression resulting from those sorts of events is typically termed "situational depression." Regarding everything else you said: totally on board. And I wish you and your wife lots of strength and luck.