This is amazing. My dad is like this, very resourceful with very less and creative with the limited resources he has as hand, and has lived/survived through life like this.
But there is a problem now. As a family, thanks to the incomes of the kids, have enough to survive (and thrive), but he continues with his efficiency-only approach, instead of the just-buy-it approach.
- So, we see plastic bottle based plant pots all over our house, instead of normal clay or terracotta plant pots, which look a bit better.
- We see DIY style visible piping and hosing to achieve drainage around the house where required, instead of hiring a professional plumber to have hidden piping (which would cost more)
- You come home one day and there is spray paint smell everywhere because of yet another (although very useful) project, and that paint causing asthma related problems to the kids (his grandkids)
- Etc.
And now I am confused. I am not sure to tell him to stop (and kill one of his interests in living life) or to etl him continue (while the rest of the family continues being majorly inconvenienced).
Note that, we are a subcontinental family, and living in a joint-family is very common, and moving out is not an option for me (it will kill him more than asking him to stop).
(Also, while writing this it was very helpful. I think while writing this, I have decided that I will let him continue, as my inconveniences are much slight compared to the damage it will do him and his, I guess its called "agency")
I'd say let him be. After all, it got him this far and it clearly satisfies him, those factors may well weigh higher than having a better or prettier solution, and there really isn't anything wrong with being frugal.
I'm a lot like your dad, but maybe a bit wealthier and yet, the number of one-off tinkering solutions around the house is rather higher than you would probably expect in a normal household and yet apart from some frustration when things are a bit messy for a while due to some project on the whole it is a net positive. If my ability to do this would be circumscribed a lot of the joy would go out of my life.
You sound really reasonable, so I recommend talking to him, maybe in less absolute terms if he'll still get it, and tell him things like "please spray paint outside" and "please design for aesthetics as well as functionality if the object will not be temporary", or whatever other types of solutions make sense to you. Some kind of compromise.
Or, my real recommendation--search for a new perspective, because you're so close already. Enjoy his objects, celebrate those that work well, and let him keep contributing to his family.
My family and I moved into a new house a few months ago, after we lost our previous home in a fire.
I've always been a tinkerer and a builder, but not professionally, and would always make functional but ugly items. Consequence of a poor, rural upbringing, I suppose. But in the new house, I resolved to put in the extra effort (and expense, but mainly labor) to build esthetically pleasing, high-quality repairs.
Staining and finishing the wood, sinking and covering the screws, squaring corners _exactly_, buying the proper tools for the job, that sort of thing. And it has been really rewarding. It doesn't feel like a bother or needless expense; it feels like growth, a new layer of expertise.
Seeing the wife posting pictures on Facebook saying "my husband built this!" was also a nice reward.
Anyway, I think that one strategy with that sort of person is to encourage them. Don't try to stop them, challenge them to learn drywall repair so they can hide the plumbing like a pro.
I went through the same experiences! I have a 40 acres homestead and that means plenty of custom projects.
After a while I was tired of ugly solutions, so I've been forcing myself to make them pleasing to the eye.
I was largely inspired by a youtuber, channel name Pask Makes. Everything the guy makes is highly functional and also so, so good looking. Better than I can achieve, but I'm working on it.
Highly recommend checking him out for inspiration, although most of what he builds are shop projects (tools etc).
I think this is a lot more common than we realize. I've noticed some men as they age seem to prefer DIY solutions over pre-bought solutions. I think it might be a mix of enjoyment, or self-satisfaction from coming up with a new solution, or remnants of an old habit they developed out of necessity when younger.
I live in a rural area myself and it's not unusual to see a pick up truck with DIY elements on them such as a wood bed rack, or wood bed cap. Usually this is a dead give away of an older gentlemen driving it. My parents own a pick up truck that had an older gentleman as a previous owner and it has a DIY wooden center console in it as it did not come with one from the factory. Ford sells a center console as an option for some of them but I guess he preferred to build his own.
embrace it. it is very empowering to be able to control/enhance your environment without driving to the hardware store or worse yet sorting through thousands of objects on amazon.
if you start early enough you can actually make/repurpose things out of scrap that are really nice...much nicer that what you can easily buy (without engaging a custom fabricator).
edit: you can also get access to nicer materials. mahogany from discarded dining tables, nice heavy alum/iron castings, really beautiful old antique appliances etc. (sadly copper alloys are worth to much to be left on the street)
Tough to say, I can see how some of that can be bothersome. But once it impacts others health there has to be a limit in my opinion. Maybe he can do the spraypainting outside or in a garage?
>But there is a problem now. As a family, thanks to the incomes of the kids, have enough to survive (and thrive), but he continues with his efficiency-only approach, instead of the just-buy-it approach.
...
>(Also, while writing this it was very helpful. I think while writing this, I have decided that I will let him continue, as my inconveniences are much slight compared to the damage it will do him and his, I guess its called "agency")
You've distilled some thoughts on living with tinkers in my life, many of them has enough income later in life to just buy it, but finds joy in being resourceful. That said, it is very annoying to live with "ghetto" rigged contraption that means a lot to them but is just unsightly to you. It's an admirable and annoying combination of being resourceful and miserly vs DIYers who are willing to spend a little extra cash to buy new materials to put together a custom solution that both satisfy needs and general aesthetics for everyone. That said, I think the zero-waste repurpose aesthetic is what many fallout scavenger workshoppers enjoy about their handiwork, but don't realize others aren't deriving the same level of joy from living with their creations.
(Author here) While it can be frustrating, I think there is something about encouraging someone to lean in on their creative skillsets. You never know what's to follow when a creative person is backing with inspiration, support, and a little guidance :)
Thank you for sharing. He sounds like a very interesting indiviual.
Looking at ugly plant pots and visible plumbing are a small sacrifice for his satisfaction. How about helping him use his DIY skills for more, like building & repairing bicycles for charity?
It's good to tell him what you need, especially around health. Encourage him to do his projects without making indoor air pollution. He can make his own fume hood for spray painting.
I think feeling like you are useful and have purpose are critical parts of aging well and living a life well lived. Seems like your dad gets a lot of satisfaction from these products.
I think a little more communication on your part for getting stuff you need done (or having him teach your kids these amazing skills) could make this a huge win for your family instead of a burden you have to tolerate.
But there is a problem now. As a family, thanks to the incomes of the kids, have enough to survive (and thrive), but he continues with his efficiency-only approach, instead of the just-buy-it approach.
- So, we see plastic bottle based plant pots all over our house, instead of normal clay or terracotta plant pots, which look a bit better.
- We see DIY style visible piping and hosing to achieve drainage around the house where required, instead of hiring a professional plumber to have hidden piping (which would cost more)
- You come home one day and there is spray paint smell everywhere because of yet another (although very useful) project, and that paint causing asthma related problems to the kids (his grandkids) - Etc.
And now I am confused. I am not sure to tell him to stop (and kill one of his interests in living life) or to etl him continue (while the rest of the family continues being majorly inconvenienced).
Note that, we are a subcontinental family, and living in a joint-family is very common, and moving out is not an option for me (it will kill him more than asking him to stop).
(Also, while writing this it was very helpful. I think while writing this, I have decided that I will let him continue, as my inconveniences are much slight compared to the damage it will do him and his, I guess its called "agency")