The German term “sitzpinkel” exists, which as I understand it is a mocking term for a man who sits to pee. Any Germans here who can explain the full meaning? I think the connotation is that a man who sits to pee is excessively domesticated and perhaps a bit feminine.
You pretty much got the meaning and connotation. The term is "Sitzpinkler", which translates to someone sitting while peeing. I would say that Sitzpinkler, together with Frauenvorsteher (someone who understands women) and Weichei are out of style nowadays, at least in the cities.
Hilarious burn: “someone who understands women.” Maybe it makes more sense in a previous era of take-my-wife-please humor. The kids call it Boomer Humor but I think it predates that generation.
There is an additional variable here that can result in an unintended phenomenon I call “sprinkler dick”. Occasionally (often after sex but not exclusively), I will be standing to pee and - all other things being equal - my initial stream will surprisingly come out at an almost 45 degree angle (always to the left for me). At other times, this phenomenon will manifest as the initial stream coming out bifurcated, forming a V (and not as a result of any stuck pubes).
I have no solid explanation for why this occurs, but it is very repeatable, to the point where I now automatically sit down to pee after sex, because I can’t be arsed mopping up the bathroom floor.
I have no idea if this phenomenon is unique to my physiology or is something that other men experience.
When not actively passing fluids, the male urethra is almost always collapsed. In that state, it is easy for "precious bodily fluids" - or just the normal moisture of its inner lining - to dry out at the external opening, sticking the urethra's walls together and producing such effects.
To add to a bit of comment serendipity, @btrettel posted recently that one of his contributions from his PhD work was the characterization of "turbulent Rayleigh" liquid jets that describe men peeing but had remained largely ignored by academia because it didn't usually happen to industrial machines, only humans.
Bidet, which they also mention, was a revelation to me. I first tried it in Turkey a few years back, and immediately upon return outfitted all of the toilets in my home with Japanese bidets. Toilet paper is used only to dry off (although the bidet also has air dry). Smearing shit around with toilet paper is a barbaric custom which really needs to go.
Even with a wand bidet, you don't touch the shit, mostly. Point the stream of the wand along the hand to make a little directable steam, modulate shape and power, etc.
Like using a hose at half pressure and your thumb over the end to clean dropped food on marble. You'd sort it out, generally don't have to scrub.
And if you have to scrub, it's under a steam of running water. But usually no scrubbing.
Cleaning the toilet is easier with a wand bidet, too. I like that the wand is extremely low profile, nothing under the toilet seat.
Talking about this directly in America feels ever so slightly sstrange, and this website codes american. Maybe I'm projecting.
