Wait, wait, don't tell me -- some people are gonna think that Apple's lost it's touch and $AAPL will plummet ("Gold? Plastic? Are you serious?"), some people are going to think its an unparalleled technical achievement ("The 64bit processor solidifies Apple's position as the engineer of the greatest phones, let alone personal computers."), and everything sells like hotcakes regardless.
I believe you have just summarized, at least, the next month of news stories from various sites designed to maximize ad revenue. I consider these announcements like miniature gold-rushes for the news sites and ad networks. Unfortunately, I have yet to think of a way to "sell shovels" to them.
I think the way to do it is to make a program the generates "controversial apple articles" through a little natural language processing and a bank of commonly-used vocabulary. It could totally be done, hah
